More Than Saves: What Sports Teach Children and Their Parents
What Sports Teach Children and Their Parents
For many families, signing up your child for a sport they enjoy is a common part of childhood. As a parent, I was not anticipating the emotional education I would receive over the years watching my son on the ice. I also never expected to spend hours of my time on the other side of the glass to be near my son who chose to be a hockey goalie. Observing him over the past few years living his passion between the pipes has taught me lessons about perseverance, determination, courage, and parenting. Celebrating the saves is an unbelievable moment of excitement. However, watching the goals go in has reinforced the importance of resiliency and learning to grow through setbacks.
This article will explore what sports teach children and their parents, what the research says about youth sports, child development and the impact on their mental health while reflecting on my own experiences of raising a hockey goalie. I have come to understand that the most important game is often the one taking place in a child's mind long after they leave the ice.
Why Children Benefit from Sports
Based on the Canadian Pediatrics Society (CPS), physical activity is associated with several health benefits such as:
Flexibility
Having strong bones, heart, and lungs
Improving their mood
Improving their self-esteem
Keeping a healthy body weight
Achieving well in school 1
The CPS describes 3 types of activities: vigorous-intensity, moderate-intensity as well as activities that strengthen bones and muscles 1. They provide a guideline that is based on children’s ages and the different types of activities. The recommendation for children ages 5 to 17 include at least 60 minutes of daily moderate to vigorous intensity physical activity 1. Based on the child’s age, this can include organized sports, individual sports, strength training, free play in a park and walking 1.
Regular activity can decrease a child’s risk of developing a chronic illness such as cancer, diabetes and cardiovascular disease 2. Regular physical activity is also associated with a lower likelihood of tobacco, alcohol and drug use among children and youth 2.
It is inevitable that your child will make mistakes, lose a game, struggle in their performance and possibly get very emotional while playing sports. As a parent, it can be hard to witness your child struggling. However, I have observed how much it has strengthened my son’s capacity for dealing with his emotions.
My son has been participating in organized sports for the past 6 years and I have noticed many benefits such as learning to cooperate with teammates, developing social skills, building self-confidence, improved sleep and learning how to deal with adversity when his team loses. I have also observed him encouraging others on his own team as well as on his opponent’s team, which demonstrates that you can learn kindness and compassion towards others.
What Parents Experience
Signing up your child for a sport at a young age is something I do encourage due to the multitude of health benefits. It can teach them many lessons. I remember my son’s first year in soccer. He was 5 years old and I could observe some of his teammates on the field daydreaming, looking up at the sky or even walking off the field. Some of those kids were on my son’s team the following year and seemed more engaged, while some were less interested in chasing the ball around the field. From what I could observe, the kids enjoyed spending time together and having fun on and off the field.
As a parent, you may not know what to expect when you register your child for a sport if you did not have the experience of playing sports growing up, if you do not know much about the sport, or if you are not interested in it. I can admit that I have always enjoyed watching hockey, but I did not know the technical details such as putting on equipment when my son started playing. However, from my experience raising a son who is passionate about both soccer and hockey, I have learned a lot about the sports and about myself. It has encouraged me to get out of my comfort zone and step up to manage the hockey teams and be an assistant soccer coach.
In my opinion, children will often seek emotional regulation from their parents, therefore making their presence play a pivotal role in their experience with sports. Establishing a relationship of trust between the parent and the coach is important; parent- coach rapport can impact the child’s confidence in their coach 4.
I have noticed that parenting a child in sports often comes with a wide range of emotions. It provides an opportunity to build your own self-awareness while regulating your emotions. Your child is often watching you in the stands and may rely on you to stay grounded and focused on the game. From my experience, I have felt it was my responsibility to build an environment based on trust, connection, consistency and communication with my son.
I can admit that I have had to learn to regulate my nervous system over the years watching my son in the net. I noticed an increased heart rate, holding my breath, being restless in my seat, feelings of anxiety and hoping my son could regulate if the other team scores a goal. I practice deep breathing techniques and often do not engage in many conversations during the game. I am still learning how to manage my emotions, including when to stay quiet and when to encourage.
Why Goalies are Different
Goalies experience different psychological demands than other players on their team 3. In the book So… Your Kid Wants to be a Goalie? Austin Christopher discusses that goalies are required to make split-second decisions, are constantly focusing on processing angles, speed, body language and anticipating the next shot 3. Furthermore, the author suggests that the demands are not only based on their physical ability but also requires cognitive and emotional stability when under pressure 3. They are the final line of defense and often the backbone of their team. I have noticed that one split decision on their part can change the outcome of the game.
What I have observed with my son is how he must recover quickly following a goal against him. He has to let it go and not dwell on the last goal. His emotional regulation and growth mindset have developed significantly over the past few years. I have learned that playing this position is one of the strongest psychological lessons sports can teach.
In my opinion, loneliness and isolation can be felt by goalies. Their position is very different from their teammates. They have more pressure to perform, may strive for perfectionism and can be self-critical 3. A 2024 review indicates that individuals involved in sport may be at risk of loneliness and its negative consequences due, in part, to sport-specific risk factors 5. However, overall comparisons between athletes and non-athletes indicate that athletes may experience lower levels of loneliness versus the non-athletes 5.
Car rides home after a game are crucial to establishing an environment where my son can recover from his performance. They may be very quiet when he is reading a book or lost in thoughts, to blasting loud music, to talking about topics completely unrelated to hockey. One of the most valuable lessons I have learned is to remain a consistent source of calm, no matter how the game unfolds.
The Downside of Youth Sports
Financial investments and time commitments are some of the main challenges I have noticed over the years with my son in sports. Especially when your child plays in more competitive sports. Depending on the sport, it may require hours every week allocated to practices, games and development. This can take away from time invested into academics, relaxation, social engagements and other interests.
I have noticed that the demands on both the child and the parent can lead to stress and anxiety. Parent volunteer commitments are often required for most sports. I have managed my son’s hockey team for years and have noticed how both rewarding and stressful it can be.
The pressure implemented on the child by their parents, their coaches, and themselves to excel at the sport can be challenging. The reality is that only a small percentage of them will go on to compete professionally.
The Benefits of Organized Sports
Some observational research has found lower reported rates of anxiety and depression among youth participating in team sports, although the relationship is complex and may be influenced by other factors 6. This may be related to the social aspects of playing a team sport, which can encourage fun and stress management 6.
Based on my observation in today's digital world, children often spend more time on screens than being physically active. Encouraging exercise and movement are key factors to promoting wellbeing 1. Participating in activities with other children can be both a source of exercise and social engagement. I have seen the positive impact on my son over the years as he continues to engage in team sports.
As a parent involved in my son’s teams over the years, I have developed vital friendships with other parents that may last a lifetime. We spend countless hours together cheering on our children. It can feel like a community or even an extended family on some teams. Human connection is vital to our survival. I notice a shift in my emotional wellbeing at the end of a season as we must adapt to a change in our schedule.
My Own Reflections
Observing my son stand alone in the crease has taught me that confidence is not built by avoiding mistakes. It is built by how we recover from them. As a parent, I have learned that we cannot prevent difficult games, but we can support how our children interpret them.
I have also observed that being a hockey goalie can be a lonely position to play. The team may not always have the resources needed to support their development or fully understand the psychology of the position. Even in the locker room, before or after the game, it can feel isolating. The team will quickly celebrate your amazing saves but may not always share the encouragement needed after a loss.
I think this position is one of the most rewarding positions in all sports, but it is also one of the hardest. The pressure is difficult enough for anyone to manage, let alone for a child who is still developing emotionally. I have been inspired by my son to learn more about sports psychology and how I can support his emotional and mental health as he takes on this level of stress.
Hockey has taught my son about the physical, mental, and emotional aspects of stopping pucks. It has taught me about supporting my child through success, uncertainty, disappointment, and growth. The most valuable lessons have little to do with the scoreboard.
*Disclaimer: The information contained within this post is for general educational and information purposes only; no doctor-patient relationship is formed. It is not professional medical advice, diagnosis, treatment, or care, nor is it intended to be a substitute, therefore. If you have any concerns or questions about your health, always seek the advice of a qualified healthcare professional.
References:
1. Canadian Paediatric Society / Physical activity for children and youth. Retrieved 27 June 2026, from https://caringforkids.cps.ca/handouts/healthy-living/physical_activity
2. Public Health Agency of Canada / Physical activity: Being physically active for your health. Retrieved 27 June 2026, from https://www.canada.ca/en/public-health/services/being-active/physical-activity-your-health.h
3. Christopher, A. So... Your kid wants to be a goalie? (self-published). 2025
4. Ntalachani, K., Dania, A., Karteroliotis, K., & Stavrou, N. (2025). Parental involvement in youth sports: A phenomenological analysis of the coach–athlete–parent relationship. Youth, 5(3), 81. https://doi.org/10.3390/youth5030081
5. Jackman, P. C., Hawkins, R. M., Bird, M. D., Williamson, O., Vella, S. A., & Lazuras, L. (2024). Loneliness in sport: A systematic mixed studies review. International Review of Sport and Exercise Psychology, 17(1), 99–125. https://doi.org/10.1080/1750984X.2024.2405507
6. Pluhar, E., McCracken, C., Griffith, K. L., Christino, M. A., Sugimoto, D., & Meehan, W. P., III. (2019). Team sport athletes may be less likely to suffer anxiety or depression than individual sport athletes. Journal of Sports Science & Medicine, 18(3), 490–496. https://www.jssm.org/jssm-18-490.xml
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